Why people have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on since old ages. Affairs can be filled with problems, cause despair, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, money, age difference, faith background, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married man.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I am conserned mostly though it is just the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone are able to turn the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos the world has erected against extramarital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but the public as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your relatives or anyone else? You would need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major cluster, very big really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they are comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your funds are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Ignoring, sadly this is a regular reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the guy is sexually neglecting his spouse for a large humber of reasons. As a male I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have just grown apart, our general concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.